Books on Adolescence
Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World by Rosalind Wiseman (2013)
SYNOPSIS: Do you constantly struggle to pull information from your son, student, or athlete, only to encounter mumbling or evasive assurances such as “It’s nothing” or “I’m good?” Do you sense that the boy you care about is being bullied, but that he’ll do anything to avoid your “help?” Have you repeatedly reminded him that schoolwork and chores come before video games only to spy him reaching for the controller as soon as you leave the room? Have you watched with frustration as your boy flounders with girls?
Welcome to Boy World. It’s a place where asking for help or showing emotional pain often feels impossible. Where sports and video games can mean everything, but working hard in school frequently earns ridicule from “the guys” even as they ask to copy assignments. Where “masterminds” dominate and friends ruthlessly insult each other but can never object when someone steps over the line. Where hiding problems from adults is the ironclad rule because their involvement only makes situations worse.
Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety: A Complete Guide to Your Child’s Stressed, Depressed, Expanded, Amazing Adolescence by John Duffy (2019)
SYNOPSIS: Learn about the “New Teen” and how to adjust your parenting approach. Kids are growing up with nearly unlimited access to social media and the internet, and unprecedented academic, social, and familial stressors. Starting as early as eight years old, children are exposed to information, thought, and emotion that they are developmentally unprepared to process. As a result, saving the typical “teen parenting” strategies for thirteen-year-olds is now years too late. Dr. John Duffy’s parenting book is a new and necessary guide that addresses this hidden phenomenon of the changing teenage brain. Dr. Duffy, a nationally recognized expert in parenting for nearly twenty five years, offers this book as a guide for parents raising children who are growing up quickly and dealing with unresolved adolescent issues that can lead to anxiety and depression.
Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls by Lisa Damour (2019)
SYNOPSIS: Though anxiety has risen among young people overall, studies confirm that it has skyrocketed in girls. Research finds that the number of girls who said that they often felt nervous, worried, or fearful jumped 55 percent from 2009 to 2014, while the comparable number for adolescent boys has remained unchanged. As a clinical psychologist who specializes in working with girls, Lisa Damour, Ph.D., has witnessed this rising tide of stress and anxiety in her own research, in private practice, and in the all-girls’ school where she consults. She knew this had to be the topic of her new book.
In the engaging, anecdotal style and reassuring tone that won over thousands of readers of her first book, Untangled, Damour starts by addressing the facts about psychological pressure. She explains the surprising and underappreciated value of stress and anxiety: that stress can helpfully stretch us beyond our comfort zones, and anxiety can play a key role in keeping girls safe. When we emphasize the benefits of stress and anxiety, we can help our daughters take them in stride.
Queen Bees and Wannabes, 3rd Edition: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman (2016)
SYNOPSIS: “My daughter used to be so wonderful. Now I can barely stand her and she won’t tell me anything. How can I find out what’s going on?” “There’s a clique in my daughter’s grade that’s making her life miserable. She doesn’t want to go to school anymore. Her own supposed friends are turning on her, and she’s too afraid to do anything. What can I do?”
Welcome to the wonderful world of your daughter’s adolescence. A world in which she comes to school one day to find that her friends have suddenly decided that she no longer belongs. Or she’s teased mercilessly for wearing the wrong outfit or having the wrong friend. Or branded with a reputation she can’t shake. Or pressured into conforming so she won’t be kicked out of the group. For better or worse, your daughter’s friendships are the key to enduring adolescence—as well as the biggest threat to her well-being.
Helping Your Anxious Teen: Positive Parenting Strategies to Help Your Teen Beat Anxiety, Stress, and Worry by Sheila Achar Josephs (2017)
SYNOPSIS: Parenting a teen isn’t easy, but parenting an anxious teen is especially challenging. Written by a psychologist and expert on adolescent anxiety, this essential book will show you what really works to overcome all types of teen anxiety and how to apply specific skills to support your teen. Most parents find it frustrating when common sense and logical methods such as reassurance don’t seem to work to allay their teen’s anxiety. They want to know: Why is anxiety so hard to get rid of once it takes hold? Why aren’t my efforts to help working? And how can I best help my teen break free from anxiety to become happy and resilient?
This powerful book, based on cutting-edge research and cognitive behavioral strategies, will help you develop the know-how to effectively manage teen anxiety. You’ll learn the best ways to support your teen in overcoming problematic thinking and fears, discover what behaviors and coping strategies unwittingly make anxiety worse, and understand how anxiety is best defeated with surprisingly counterintuitive methods.
SYNOPSIS: Beleaguered parents will breath sighs of relief and gratitude over this bestselling guide to raising teenagers
In this revised edition, Dr. Anthony E. Wolf tackles the changes in recent years with the same wit and compassion as the original edition. Dr. Wolf points out that while the basic issues of adolescence and the relationships between parents and their children remain much the same, today’s teenagers navigate a faster, less clearly anchored world. Wolf’s revisions include a new chapter on the Internet, a significantly modified section on drugs and drinking, and an added piece on gay teenagers.
Although the rocky and ever-changing terrain of contemporary adolescence may bewilder parents, Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall? gives them a great road map.
Father to Daughter – Life Lessons on Raising a Girl
Synopsis: Share her wonder. Dance with her always. Teach her to be courageous, fearless, confident in any situation. Anchored in values and filled with clear and simple words of wisdom, this small book speaks large truths about raising a daughter. About respect and trust. About unicorns and sports and boys. And about the joys and responsibilities that come with being the first man in her life.
Click here for my book review.
Middle Schooled – Parenting Tips and Reminders to Keep You Smiling
Synopsis: Middle Schooled is an adolescent parenting guide for those who would rather laugh than cry. In a hilarious and insightful way, Andy Mullen helps parents confidently manage their middle school student while understanding what is normal behavior. Middle Schooled is guaranteed to keep you smiling.
Click here for my book review.
Building Resilience in Children and Teens
Help prepare the children and teens in your life to face life’s challenges with grace and grit. In this award-winning guide, author and pediatrician Dr. Ken Ginsburg shares his seven crucial Cs: competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. You’ll discover how to incorporate these concepts into your parenting style and communication strategies, thereby strengthening your connection. And that connection will position you to guide your child to bounce back from life’s challenges and forge a meaningful and successful life.
You’ll also learn detailed coping strategies to help children and teenagers deal with the stresses of academic pressure, media messages, peer pressure, and family tension. These approaches will prepare children to thrive and make it less likely that they will turn to risky quick fixes and haphazard solutions. Resilience is a critical life skill. And it can be taught! Learn how with Building Resilience in Children and Teens.
Click here for my book review